Love is just so powerful (part two)
Was it hard?
Did you cry?
How do you actually feel Aldro?
.
.
.
Stupid. I feel stupid.
I went home the other day after meeting F. I felt so calm that night. I talk to myself while i lie down on my bed.
"Aldro, she does not want you. you must understand. Move on."
I smile and said to my fucking-self
"Alright, i need to accept that FA no longer want to be in this story"
-
I woke up as the same person. The usual person that everyone know but probably with a tiny little changes that will getting better soon. There is no change in my daily routine. Everything just similar
except for one thing :
I thinking about FA alot.
I think about F when i was in the car, when i was doing my tasks in the office, the moment before i sleep or moment when i was washing my car. I cannot stop thinking about F. Probably because i miss F so much. But that's human though. That's what our heart's do. When we are so attached with someone we love or we like, we started to think about them alot. Eventhough i was thinking about F alot, i still did not contact or call F. I dont really like the idea of contact someone who is dont want you to be part in their life anymore.This feeling (what i felt), can be gone in another second. I just need to be patient a little bit longer because i know it need time to recover.
But hey, this story isn't end here. FA still contacted me sometimes. Asking me out for lunch or just texted me to say Hi. It was a short text but still, that two sentence enough to make me happy for the entire day. I now slowly can accept the fact that we were not belong together. I try to keep my boundary when we met. I don’t consider our relationship as a friend but more to flirtationship ( I just found out this terms on Facebook which means “More than a friend but less than relationship). I cannot be a friend to F. I really cannot. I rather be a stranger than a friend to F because I like F so much. To be just a friend is too ridiculous for me because F might tell me everything about someone F’s like or F would like to flirt. No.
After three or four weeks I did not contacted F, F suddenly called me at 4pm (on weekend if I was not mistaken), asking me how are you, what are you doing now and even asked why did not I contact F again. Of course I did not contact F because last time F said that F needs time for everything because F in a mess. I just told F that ‘I don’t want to bother you’. F replied ‘cliché’. I was not trying to be cliché but that’s the truth. I just don’t want to bothering F. Starting from that moment, we contacting each other frequently. Again.
Still, I was still in that stigma where I want to keep my boundary when went out with F. Because I did not know what was F intention this time. Why did F come back? I don’t really know why. We hang out a lot after that. F went to Tuaran, asked me go KK for some movies and stay up all night long and we even went out for a steamboat to celebrate our 6th monthsary (of-knowing-each-other) together, I feel so good. I mean, Finally, i can still can go out with F. Even it is not the same as before.
We were chatting on Whatsapp on that night, it was all started with a silly jokes and stories until one moment, F said
“Wait a moment, I want to scroll up in our conversation and find that super-long-text you texted me”
I was panicked. Super-long-text that I text F on midnight few months ago. F suddenly in the serious mode and said, F was guilty for making makes me feels that way and apologized for everything.
“I started realized after we did not contact as much as we did before, I felt guilty and for that, I don’t know how to apologize. I am sorry for not be able to be someone you expect.”
I tried to cheer up the conversation and I said you doing the right thing by explain everything and giving yourself a break. I said to F, no need to say sorry to me because I was so happy before when you came and I was the one who said let separate for awhile.
F suddenly opened up about the job F’s got offered in KL. F mentioned when started seldomly talking to each other, F received an offer at one of the bank in KL and think that it would be the best option for leaving KK because F thought there was nothing left in KK and F won’t lose any. Then, F kept thinking about accepting the job and started to meet and contact me as much as possible to reconfirm F’s decision. Then F decided not to accept the job and think that F was not ready to leave KK. I insisted F to pursue and find and establish job and don’t think too much about leaving KK. Then F suddenly told me this :
“ Have you ever heard of Lady Gaga’s song Million reasons? It says :-
“I’ve got hundred million reasons to walk away
But baby, I just need one good one to stay”
If I ask you this question, what are your reasons?
I did not answer F. but I could answer F at that very moment, this would be my answer :
I like you for no reason. Because if I have a reason and that reason no longer valid at some other times, then you will surely leave. It took me sometimes to think, why i like F so much. And i dont find any reasons for not liking F. Was it because that F is smart? Because F such a sweet talker? No. I dont think that is the main reason. I like F for who is F. And, if anything happen in the future, like F found out or thinking that F could not be together with me anymore, i still like F. I've prepared for any possibility and because of that reason, i did not show much about how i feel towards F. I rather keep it myself and let me myself just know that i LIKE F so much.
It’s Valentines day. It’s been a quite sometimes I did not celebrate it with someone I love. I mean, this year would be a good year for me to celebrate for at least I have someone to go out with. I want to do something to F, a person that i like so much and to appreciate F for being in my life. Just a tiny little gratitude for being there even just for awhile. I ordered a slice cakes from Kakji, a bottle of Vanilla Coke and a note. A very special note. I did not wrote this notes. It’s just a writing F’s wrote on Facebook and i just copy a few of F's sentence and made it like a postcard :
Did you cry?
How do you actually feel Aldro?
.
.
.
Stupid. I feel stupid.
I went home the other day after meeting F. I felt so calm that night. I talk to myself while i lie down on my bed.
"Aldro, she does not want you. you must understand. Move on."
I smile and said to my fucking-self
"Alright, i need to accept that FA no longer want to be in this story"
-
I woke up as the same person. The usual person that everyone know but probably with a tiny little changes that will getting better soon. There is no change in my daily routine. Everything just similar
except for one thing :
I thinking about FA alot.
I think about F when i was in the car, when i was doing my tasks in the office, the moment before i sleep or moment when i was washing my car. I cannot stop thinking about F. Probably because i miss F so much. But that's human though. That's what our heart's do. When we are so attached with someone we love or we like, we started to think about them alot. Eventhough i was thinking about F alot, i still did not contact or call F. I dont really like the idea of contact someone who is dont want you to be part in their life anymore.This feeling (what i felt), can be gone in another second. I just need to be patient a little bit longer because i know it need time to recover.
But hey, this story isn't end here. FA still contacted me sometimes. Asking me out for lunch or just texted me to say Hi. It was a short text but still, that two sentence enough to make me happy for the entire day. I now slowly can accept the fact that we were not belong together. I try to keep my boundary when we met. I don’t consider our relationship as a friend but more to flirtationship ( I just found out this terms on Facebook which means “More than a friend but less than relationship). I cannot be a friend to F. I really cannot. I rather be a stranger than a friend to F because I like F so much. To be just a friend is too ridiculous for me because F might tell me everything about someone F’s like or F would like to flirt. No.
After three or four weeks I did not contacted F, F suddenly called me at 4pm (on weekend if I was not mistaken), asking me how are you, what are you doing now and even asked why did not I contact F again. Of course I did not contact F because last time F said that F needs time for everything because F in a mess. I just told F that ‘I don’t want to bother you’. F replied ‘cliché’. I was not trying to be cliché but that’s the truth. I just don’t want to bothering F. Starting from that moment, we contacting each other frequently. Again.
Still, I was still in that stigma where I want to keep my boundary when went out with F. Because I did not know what was F intention this time. Why did F come back? I don’t really know why. We hang out a lot after that. F went to Tuaran, asked me go KK for some movies and stay up all night long and we even went out for a steamboat to celebrate our 6th monthsary (of-knowing-each-other) together, I feel so good. I mean, Finally, i can still can go out with F. Even it is not the same as before.
We were chatting on Whatsapp on that night, it was all started with a silly jokes and stories until one moment, F said
“Wait a moment, I want to scroll up in our conversation and find that super-long-text you texted me”
I was panicked. Super-long-text that I text F on midnight few months ago. F suddenly in the serious mode and said, F was guilty for making makes me feels that way and apologized for everything.
“I started realized after we did not contact as much as we did before, I felt guilty and for that, I don’t know how to apologize. I am sorry for not be able to be someone you expect.”
I tried to cheer up the conversation and I said you doing the right thing by explain everything and giving yourself a break. I said to F, no need to say sorry to me because I was so happy before when you came and I was the one who said let separate for awhile.
F suddenly opened up about the job F’s got offered in KL. F mentioned when started seldomly talking to each other, F received an offer at one of the bank in KL and think that it would be the best option for leaving KK because F thought there was nothing left in KK and F won’t lose any. Then, F kept thinking about accepting the job and started to meet and contact me as much as possible to reconfirm F’s decision. Then F decided not to accept the job and think that F was not ready to leave KK. I insisted F to pursue and find and establish job and don’t think too much about leaving KK. Then F suddenly told me this :
“ Have you ever heard of Lady Gaga’s song Million reasons? It says :-
“I’ve got hundred million reasons to walk away
But baby, I just need one good one to stay”
If I ask you this question, what are your reasons?
I did not answer F. but I could answer F at that very moment, this would be my answer :
I like you for no reason. Because if I have a reason and that reason no longer valid at some other times, then you will surely leave. It took me sometimes to think, why i like F so much. And i dont find any reasons for not liking F. Was it because that F is smart? Because F such a sweet talker? No. I dont think that is the main reason. I like F for who is F. And, if anything happen in the future, like F found out or thinking that F could not be together with me anymore, i still like F. I've prepared for any possibility and because of that reason, i did not show much about how i feel towards F. I rather keep it myself and let me myself just know that i LIKE F so much.
It’s Valentines day. It’s been a quite sometimes I did not celebrate it with someone I love. I mean, this year would be a good year for me to celebrate for at least I have someone to go out with. I want to do something to F, a person that i like so much and to appreciate F for being in my life. Just a tiny little gratitude for being there even just for awhile. I ordered a slice cakes from Kakji, a bottle of Vanilla Coke and a note. A very special note. I did not wrote this notes. It’s just a writing F’s wrote on Facebook and i just copy a few of F's sentence and made it like a postcard :
I texted F that evening to stop by at my office and get this ciggar. F refused saying that F was busy and maybe could not make it. I said I will wait. But F insisted that F could not make it and just go home. So I finally broke the surprise and say :
“It’s not just a cigar. It is something for you”
F laughed and said F knew it from the very beginning. So F asked me to go home because F want to go out with me tonight. I rushed home and go back to KK again to meet F. When I arrived infront of F’s house, I was quite excited and happy because we both wore a same colour outfit. I gave F the box and F did not open it. We decided to not driving that night and took an Uber. We went to Warisan Square and F stopped at Secret Recipe and ordered a cakes. F gave me that cake and asked me to not open it until I reach home. After spending time together for the whole night,
I went home at 3am and open the cake :
“It’s not just a cigar. It is something for you”
F laughed and said F knew it from the very beginning. So F asked me to go home because F want to go out with me tonight. I rushed home and go back to KK again to meet F. When I arrived infront of F’s house, I was quite excited and happy because we both wore a same colour outfit. I gave F the box and F did not open it. We decided to not driving that night and took an Uber. We went to Warisan Square and F stopped at Secret Recipe and ordered a cakes. F gave me that cake and asked me to not open it until I reach home. After spending time together for the whole night,
I went home at 3am and open the cake :
I was so speechless and I don’t know how to react so I posted a photo on Instagram to reply F’s message
I am happy.
So happy that i could not describe in words. I feel wonderfuly-exultant.
to FA,
Thank you so much..
for makes me feel this special.
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-
-
-
I love you.
-
-
-
Speak soon.
Its not end yet. so stay..
So happy that i could not describe in words. I feel wonderfuly-exultant.
to FA,
Thank you so much..
for makes me feel this special.
-
-
-
-
I love you.
-
-
-
Speak soon.
Its not end yet. so stay..
hi bang long :D punya sweet kena buat post card tu :P
ReplyDeleteHahaha. i made it.
Delete:DD
Delete